Lonely? A Reason For Porn

I don't know about you, but those of us who remain single need to remind ourselves that there is still beauty in the world. (Okay, okay! And the occasional endorphin rush doesn't hurt, either.) I'm not sure that the number of lonely people had diminished with the advent of the Internet, or just remained the same.

It's a sad truth that many people think that a 'friend' in a forum is something more that a superficial acquaintance, and they can never compare to a real face-to-face interactions. I have had requests, from people with whom I've never communicated, to become my friend. When I sent them a nice e-mail thanking them, and asking why, I received no reply. I think it odd that these people just collect 'friends' like this. There doesn't seem to be a point. It would be very sad if they felt the need to have even this fleeting form of communication, and their collection of 'friends' was some sort of security blanket.

Those of us that were around before the Internet, have a keen sense of distinction between an Internet 'friend' and a personal friend. Those that have grown up with the Internet sometimes have to learn this distinction the hard way.

The Internet can seem like a big club, but retain your perspective.

If you're submissive and without a partner, maybe this will cheer you up in time for the festive season?

My Bums Too Big

It's one of the most useless starts to any conversation (argument) you'll going to have with your loved one. It's usually after you've botched it, and she's no longer talking to you that you think: I wish it went like...

Her: My bum's too big, isn't it?

You: What do you mean?

Her: I'm not attractive with such a big bum.

You: On what basis are you judging?

Her: Basis? It's too big.

You: (sigh) Do you like women? (Nothing wrong if you're bi. I hope you'd be able to tell me, if you were.)

Her: No, of course not. You know I'm not: we've been married for years.

You: Okay. Just stay with me. So, you don't fancy women, right?

Her. (frown) That's right.

You: So the mechanism to judge if a women is attractive - the size of her bum is attractive - to a man isn't part of your makeup, in any way, right?

Her: (deeper frown) Yeah. I suppose. So?

You: Okay, so again, on what basis do you judge? You can't see the size of your bum through my appreciative eyes. And what's more, I'd bop anyone on the nose that said anything derogatory about your bum, or any other part of you, for that matter.

Her: But my bum is still too ...

You: (Bop)

Her: Ow! What was that for? (Grin)

You: (Grin) You were warned.

I Can't Explain

Apologies to the 'orible 'ho! I would imagine "Why?" being pretty high on the list of common questions, when it comes to anything fetish. - Leather, Rubber, Bondage, Spanking, Role play BDSM, oh yeah - and a favourite of mine - chastity. To almost quote Tom Alan at The Edge of Vanilla, "My favourite colours are tight and shiny".

I have always encouraged thorough, honest communication between partners. But now? Well, this one is an exception. You can discuss the 'what', but never the 'why'. My advice: Don't even try to explain why. Instead use the following as a pattern for any such conversation...

Vanilla: But why do you like to wear rubber lockable shorts over your chastity belt, that's also locked? And why do they have to be black?

Pervert: I can't tell you. I just do.

Vanilla: You're not making this any easier to understand, you know?

Pervert: Okay. Try this for size. What's your favourite colour?

Vanilla: Deep blue. You know that.

Pervert: Yes I know. But now tell me why?

Vanilla: I... I just like things that are deep blue.

Pervert: You're not making it any easier to understand, you know?

Vanilla: You're telling me that you can't tell me, because it's a matter of taste?

Pervert: I guess that's it. I can't tell you why I like the taste of some food, and hate others, that are maybe just as nutritious. I can't tell you why on a lot of things, but more to the point, neither can you.

Vanilla: So how do I get a better understanding?

Pervert: We can talk about the what, then, if there's things that turn you off, tell me.

Vanilla: So my likes and dislikes are taken into account?

Pervert: Precisely.

...And they lived happily ever after?

AAAARRRRGGGHHHH Technology!!!!!!!

If you thought I'd fallen off the edge of the planet, in a sense I had! Don't you just love technology. Hamster trouble! All sorted now - I hope. (Everything crossed!) [Climbs down from orange box. - Breathe.]

So, anyway, meanwhile back at the fantasies...

P.S. This last one... Saw an ad for a fizzy drink called Iron Brew. (Scotish) In the ad a lady was putting on a glove, (surgical - she's a nurse) and the caption reads, "I know you've got my last can of Iron Brew, and there's only one place left to look.

See? I'm much calmer, now?

Are Mean Girls More Attractive?

As any good masochist will tell you, (after they've begged you to be mean to them), a mean cruel lady has something extra that makes her even more attractive. Aside from the obvious: authority figure makes us feel safe and secure, (bondage reference unintentional - honest), what is it? Or is it that simple? I need structure, and this is a structure?

I like physical pain (in small doses), but given a choice between emotional torment or a smack with a stick, I'll take the stick, every time. (Hopefully short of a hospital visit!)

So everyone, the mantra? One, two, three: Safe, sane and consensual. (This trio should come with a safe-word, agreed before play starts. - Just stating the obvious. Or at least, I hope it's obvious.)

And now some fantasies, with mean girls...